Recently I was honoured to be part of retreat for women. Lots of Ahs and Ohs -~ you might be saying. Indeed it was a weekend of insights, letting down, surrendering, growth, laughter, tears, sharing, quiet time, holding of Sacred Space, and more.
There is a definite shared experience, a Community experience if you will.. With each member bringing to the experience what they will. Almost like an overlay of colour. I came to realize that this overlay so to speak creates it’s own container. As I am looking at my most recent experience of myself, I found that this cloak of feeling and colour, clouded over the space I held Sacred. The Kitchen that feed intensely, lovingly approximately 43 women. It’s intensity felt like a storm for some.
While others were able to sink into a freedom from Ordinary Time; for they were being cared for by all the folks who held and created circles of growth. My kitchen crew and myself were on Hyper Time, to be sure that all that was needed in the way of food was available. As an Artist in Life, I have learned that I become inwardly focused – as I live alone these days, it isn’t so much of a bother, no body is watching. Earlier in my life my child and I learned to dance with each other around who we both were, are and have become; a dance of many, many lives.
Yet, this past weekend, while others were having an Extraordinary Surge of Empowerment and Knowing ~ feelings of warmth, growth ‘The Warm and Fuzzy’ or as my friend the Diva of Outspokenness put it – A kombi experience ~ we were working, intensely. I wish to my clear ~ that ~ it was MY job! I felt and still feel honoured that I had been holding Sacred Space for this event’s kitchen starting in the late winter early Spring as I looked at what I wanted to create; in accordance with the whole event. The time and care I put toward different food items for us to share.
Creation by it’s very nature requires attention, focus, a protective fierceness, a presence of Being. ( Have you ever watched a spider spin a web, a Monarch butterfly come out of it’s chrysalis?) Life is creation, cooking for me is Creation is Art. Not only is it Art, cooking is art with some fairly dangerous tools ~ I have burns from long ago that mark my arms with the Love of feeding for those that come to my table, whether in my home, commercial restaurant, workshop or retreat. This time was no less, marked with the sadness of missing someone, I now have a T on my Warrior’s Arm. The stories they tell are of loving what I do, WHO I am. The gifts I bring to the table to share. Then of course there are the knives, sharp and deadly, a knife throwers dream! I can not, will not look up for long, with a knife in my hands, I like my hands – they have been kind and loving to me and those I touch.
Here in may be part of the problem, I am by nature a Warrior ~ not a nurturer. I stand tall about 5’9’ 180 pounds, I have arms and hands and legs that love to move, touch, work and share. In our American culture – I would not by any standard be called cute, or warm and fuzzy. I know myself to be very loving, generous of spirit, kind, compassionate, and forth right. I don’t mince a lot of words. I am loyal to those I call friends. It takes a great deal to bring me to anger~ not so much when it comes to frustration, yet how you may see me in a moment of creativity does not make me angry, only clearly focused, grounded in what is before me. It is the same for me with Food, tending to The Earth, when I help ease the tension during body work, when I am printing, painting writing or playing. I LOVE, need I underline it I Love Life! I am passionately intense.
Might I invite you to see past the stoic nature of my physical self- to see the light that shines brightly in my eyes. Might I invite you to know that I enjoy doing my work, even when it is difficult or I am frustrated?
What might my perception of you have been, when I stepped out into the warmth you all carried into the dining hall ~ I was not in your shoes, I was grateful and excited that you were not having to be in mine.
Love, Peace and Hope
Blessings to you.
Rosemary
